The United States of America as we have known it, is in total disarray. This is not an assumptive nor metaphoric conclusion. People have cast their votes (Or Not) and a new President Elect has been chosen. Whaaaaaaaaaaaat? Yes, Donald J. Trump is the President Elect of our Country. A Country that has for all practical purposes been know as LAND OF THE FREE. I sincerely hope that all American's who have had the opportunity to live in a Democracy that allows us to be who we are meant to be, will always remember this year and the years that follow. The America that we all love and have been Blessed with will soon be only a Memory! Yes, it is true. There are things that will remain the same. The Rich will still be Rich, The Poor will still be Poor. For all us who have and continue to live in Poverty or the outskirts of Poverty will see NO CHANGE. For the Wealthy, you just got real lucky. As you will now know you will retain your Wealth and then some. As for DEMOCRACY? Let's just say it will be forever changed by this President Elect. A man who will not live in THE PEOPLE'S HOUSE, better known as THE WHITE HOUSE. Who wants to continue to live his Rich Life Style along with his Rich Family in their Rich surroundings. Never in the History of our Democracy have we EVER seen a President not want to live in OUR HOUSE. This alone should tell everyone something about the changes that will soon occur. OUR HOUSE is not good enough for this President. Having said that, now he wants ALL of his children to be recognized as ROYAL. In case no one has noticed, everyone seeking to bow down to this one Man must do so at his calling and in his REGAL PALACE. Which by the way sits in the middle of Manhattan in New York City and will now be known as WHITE HOUSE TWO? This is a Man who will change OUR DEMOCRACY as we once knew it, in order to live his life as he chooses, with whom he chooses while REPRESENTING OUR AMERICA? The WHITE HOUSE was built on the fundamental values that stood PROUDLY AS THE PEOPLE'S HOUSE. And all of those who enter it's door's to work for the PEOPLE is now a Hotel for those who choose to use it's space. With NO REGARD for it's HISTORICAL MEANING. I have read many new's articles, watched many New's Outlets and of course, Social Media. However, what I find to be so disturbing is when I investigate things I have read or things I hear, whether it be People mentioned that the President Elect is interviewing for positions in HIS HOUSE, or other People who are on their knee's trying to become a part of HIS HOUSE. The WHITE HOUSE has offered to assist the new President Elect to make the Transition to occupy the WHITE HOUSE, however, he chooses to build HIS HOUSE without any assistance from those who for years have helped new Presidents make this transition. Not because they just want to help, but because they know MORE THAN HE DOES! He has and continue's to be defiant on every level. And as far as whom he chooses to run OUR COUNTRY? Well, we will just have to wait and see. Keeping in mind that it will be far from the norm. Yes my friends, DEMOCRACY as we have all known it just got kicked out. A NEW DEMOCRACY HAS TAKEN OVER. We now have to adjust our way of thinking to Bigotry, White Nationalist, Sexism , and many other things that we as a NATION have NEVER had to deal with. The GOVERNMENT as we once knew it, is forever gone. Here we have an individual who now holds the Highest Roll in the U.S. and continues to see it as HIS AND HIS ALONE. Every decision, Every move of his selected officials will no longer be working FOR THE PEOPLE. They will be working for and only for TRUMP. He is already speaking to Foreign Leaders without any advise from the Individuals who have worked for the PEOPLE all of these years. Of course, his first agenda is to take them on a tour of his CASTLE. In Short Folks, WE ARE SCREWED! The GREAT AMERICA that we once knew has been taken over by a DICTATOR and NOTHING MORE. I Pray that each of us can do what we have always done in difficult times. Look after one another. And know that GOD IS BIGGER. Yes, the PRESIDENT ELECT may think he has all of the POWER, yet will soon be shown that HE DOES NOT. GOD BLESS AMERICA. LAND OF THE FREE, HOME OF THE BRAVE, FROM SEA TO SHINING SEA.
Tuesday, November 8, 2016
ELECTION 2016 HISTORYToday we will all venture out to our Polling Places and cast our votes. I sincerely hope that we all take time to PAUSE and let our minds take us back to the beginning. Let our Hearts and Minds remember the things that upset us the most. There has been so much that has transpired during this Election Year that many of us have been spun around and around. Hearing one thing after another. However, we can not deafen our ears to what they have heard. We cannot close our eyes to the things we have seen. For those of you who are having difficulties making up you minds, spend that time reflecting back on Every Thing. The Primaries and all of the calamity that occurred during this time. Remember how other's reacted to things that were said and done. This election year has caused many people to lose friends, get angry with their families, and have actually left their churches because their beliefs differed from many in their congregation. THINK ABOUT THAT! America is not easy. It demands that we ask those who are going to be in charge of our Nation important questions. It is OUR RESPONSIBILITY of us to ask questions. This is OUR NATION. The WHITE HOUSE IS OUR HOUSE. Even though we choose those who lead our Great Nation, it is WE THE PEOPLE that they work for. We must decide if we want a Nation that continues to Love, Respect, and show RESPECT for ALL OF IT'S CITIZEN'S. Having said this, we must also remember that no one person is a mountain and can not make decisions solely on their own. Politics has ALWAYS BEEN a PARTY OF INDIVIDUALS, made up of other individuals that WE THE PEOPLE vote for. People that we expect, demand to work with whom ever we choose to lead our Nation. If we do not take the time to think about all of these things prior to voting, we have let ourselves down. Look at who you are voting for. In this day and age, we can by use of our Internet learn about these individuals. NO ONE should vote for ANYONE simply by what they say on a stage in front of an audience. We must look at these individuals beyond the crowds of people who gather to hear them speak. However, do we truly know them? I have NEVER met either party. However, I can do my homework and look them up on this here computer and learn a lot about their character, their contributions to our society, their beliefs and about their lives which are well documented if you just investigate them by looking them up. I have investigated many and must say, the picture of a few is not a pretty one. Not someone who I feel like will represent our Nation as one of Unity, Respect, and the Love of God and his Love for us all. We can not lose our core values simply to the voices crying out that they are the best choice for us. So where does this leave us? This is my opinion. Mine alone. One that I have spent a lot of time thinking about. And this is what I know as FACT. It has been 8yrs that we have had President Obama. And from the very beginning of his Presidency, his has met will many adversaries who wanted nothing but to bring him down. And he knew this. Opinions were based on his name. His color. And many other things. The one thing that I know as an absolute certainty. Our Congress are the ones who push the Policies and Issues forward for the President. We have for the last 8yrs seen a Congress that has in every way Blocked, and done many other things to show this President that he was not getting past them. Is this what we want in our Congress? A Congress that has repeatedly refused to work for THE PEOPLE. All because of their PERSONAL AGENDA'S. We must have a Congress that is willing to WORK. This Congress has shut down our Government, which has cost the hard working tax payers of this Nation billions of dollars. This has been the first Congress that I have known in all the years that I have been a voting American, that has refused to work for the AMERICAN PEOPLE. If this does not infuriate you, then you truly don't care about the Democracy of this Great Nation. I can remember easier times when both the Democrats and Republicans could reach across the aisle FOR THE PEOPLE. Knowing that their ONE RESPONSIBILITY was to do what was in the best interest of this GREAT NATION. If you are old enough to remember, we have all seen hard times and good times. However, over this 8yrs, this has gotten lost in the animosity of each party unwilling to reach out across that narrow aisle to do what is RIGHT. We deserve, DEMAND BETTER. Anyone who is not willing to do what is in the best interest of it's Nation, then we do not need them. This Election will affect the Lives of OUR CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN. We have already heard from the GOP that they will do EVERYTHING IN THEIR POWER TO BLOCK ONE CANDIDATE IF ELECTED. They have already set their goals NOT FOR THE PEOPLE THEY REPRESENT, but rather for their own continued Animosity. This is NOT DEMOCRACY. Our children have been listening. And yes, words do matter. They have sadly witnessed their families and others argue over either the Candidates, or their ears have heard the countless venom being spewed over phone calls and other activities. This is NOT WHAT WE ARE ABOUT. I Pray that when this Election is over, each of us will sit our children down and teach them that this IS NOT THE NORM. Teach them what Democracy Truly Is. Teach them about Respect and Love for their neighbor, their Friends and the Love of God who know matter how this Election Play's out, They have a GOD who is much Bigger than anyone else. Restore in them the Values and Morals that as Human Beings is RIGHT. We can not erase what they have already heard and witnessed. However, we as Parents, Grandparents and other Loved Ones, teach them the things that will make them Proud to be an AMERICAN irregardless of their Race, Color, or Creed. Then, we need to Pray that we live our lives in a way that will inspire our Children. Their not on any Ballot, but their lives are.
GOD BLESS AMERICA!
Friday, October 14, 2016
THE AFTERMATH OF SEXUAL ASSAULT
For years, young girl's and women of all ages have been in some way Sexually Assaulted. Men as well. And for year's, we have all remained silent. One feel's humiliated, dirty, and often time's they feel like they deserved it. Particularly women. We often feel like it perhaps was something we did or said, or the way we were dressed. And many time's it is someone we know. A family member, a friend of the family or even a Parent. And for years we remained silent for fear of being called liars, or feared we would be blamed. We often times walk in the shadow of this horrific event in our lives remaining Silent. Thinking that if we say nothing, we will not have to face repeating to anyone what we have gone through and who did it to us. Yes, we protect the abuser. We do this because we don't want to hurt other's with the truth. Many of us lived in an era where no one spoke about this horrific attack on our lives. Whether it be for Religious belief's within ones family, or just being to embarrassed and simply wanting to hide it forever. However, it never leaves us. It remains that horrible shadow that follow's us as long as we say nothing. In my case, I was only 4-5 yr's old. My Dad and I were very close and I was a Tomboy and was always involved with just about everything he did. We raised Pigeons,Chickens and Rabbits as well as Guinie Pigs. We would always go to the Live Stock show's and show off our best animals. I always loved going with Daddy. I felt special. I have two older sister's who did not get the same attention that I got. So, Wow, I really felt special. Mom use to get me dressed in my little Bib Overall's and pull my hair up in pig tails. When Dad and I would get in the car and go around the curve, he would always say, "Move over here by me". I loved my daddy and I would always move closer to him. After all, he was Daddy and he loved me! When we got on down the road, he would put his hand between my legs. I never thought anything about it. I loved my Daddy. We would go to the show's and he would always have me show off our Rabbits or Pigeons whatever we were taking at the time. This continued for year's. When we were at home and Mom was at work, he would always have me sit next to him. Of course my sisters were there. Usually sitting in the floor in front of the television. Often times they would be in our bedroom listening to records or playing on the bed. Now, keep in mind that Mom was a devout Catholic and she was the dominant figure in our home. What she said went. No one ever got on Mom's bad side. When Daddy and I sat on the couch together, he would sometimes say,"Give me a kiss". When he kissed me, I did feel different. I mean after all, Mom never put her tongue in my mouth? Still, I didn't know anything was wrong. My Daddy loved me! Right? When I entered the First Grade, I absolutely hated school. I felt like the Nun's all hated me. They would make me stand in the hall for NOTHING. So, one day when I was made to stand in the hall, I got my hat and coat and walked home. Irony is that I truly didn't know what I was doing except I wanted to be home with my daddy. I would get home (knowing Mom was at work), and Daddy always laughed at me and said, "Baby, what are you doing here"? I would cry and tell him I didn't want to go to school anymore. Daddy always hugged me and kissed me and wiped my tear's away. He would also say,"Your Mamma's gonna kill me if I don't take you back". But I would beg him not to take me back. So he would wait til Mommy got home and defend me by saying, "Now dammit, something is wrong or she wouldn't have ran away". But Mom would take me back and make me apologize for running away. The Nun would always act so nice and hold my hand and make me promise that I would never leave school again. And I would always agree so Mom wouldn't be mad. However, I ran away 2 more times. Each time Daddy would try to protect me. Mom finally got real mad at daddy because I came home with a bloody nose after running into a wire cable while looking back to see if anyone was following me. She took me back to school after a good scolding and told me if I ran away again, I was really gonna get it. Then daddy talked to me and told me to please stay in school cause it scared him when I ran away. I remember hearing daddy and mommy cussing each other and that made me sad. So I never ran away again. As the years passed, I began to realize that what Daddy was doing to me didn't feel right. After all, I had friends and their Daddies didn't kiss them like my daddy did me. And they never touched them down there. The older I got, the more I began to distance myself from my Daddy. I was now getting scared. And my neighborhood friends who use to stay the night with me, were not allowed to stay with me anymore. I could stay at their house, but they couldn't stay at my house. Now I knew something was wrong. Dad was now beginning to touch my breast. Now that really was scary. I knew that I couldn't say anything to my Mom. Goodness, she would have whooped my behind for even thinking such a thing at my age. Dad use to take me and my sisters to the river and he taught us how to swim. Then they built a Swimming Pool right up the road from where we lived and I found a way to stay away from home all the time. I became an avid swimmer and diver. Always learning new diving techniques from the Life Guard's. I spent every single day during the summer months swimming. Dad still tried to kiss me and still touched me in places that were bad. But, I still couldn't say anything. I can remember when one of the Cheerleader's at our school got pregnant and what my Mom said about it. She thought the girl was terrible. And even worse, my Mom knew her mom and knew that she was being sent away to get rid of the baby. We lived in a home where "Hush, Don't Tell" was the rule. Dad use to always tell me, "Now don't you tell your Momma." I never did. As I got older, I became quite flirty. Especially when my sister's would bring their boy friends around. And when a guy looked at me at the swimming pool. Well, my older sister who was now 17, got pregnant by her boyfriend. Mom and Dad took them to get married. Then they lived with us. He was drafted and went to Vietnam. Things were very tense during that period of time. I was beginning to sneak around and see guys. After all, I was pretty and my body was great, and heck, Daddy had done the same thing these guys wanted to do. Of course, after awhile, they wanted more. I think ya'll know what I'm referring too. Anyway, my other sister also got pregnant. I can remember the many, many tear's my Mom cried. All I could think of was if she ever found out what I was doing. When I was 14, my Mom and I were not getting along at all. Dad was still doing his best to touch me and kiss me even when Mom was home and in another room. Then one day, Mom and me got into a big fight and she kicked me out! Yep, 14 and OUT! I just couldn't understand. Heck, both my sisters had gotten pregnant and they didn't get kicked out. I spent many nights sleeping under a bridge not far from where we lived. I had a friend who lived behind us for as long as I could remember who would come and stay with me to make sure I was safe. He would sometimes slip me into their house and have his sister Kathy tell her Mom we were good friends. She and I were the same age. I never stayed during the week, just the weekends. Then I met a guy. He told me he loved me. I believed him. I got pregnant! We ran off and got married. DISASTER! He was extremely physically abusive. Insanely jealous. Then when I was 25weeks pregnant, he beat me and I went into premature labor. He would often hold me down and force himself on me when he was drunk. Folks, the entire moral of this story which is true, is that when you are Sexually Assaulted, you lose your self. Or at least a large part of who you are. In my case, I had no self esteem. I felt dirty. I felt betrayed. My Daddy? The one man who I loved so much ABUSED ME! This set a course of self destruction for me. Marriage and Divorce, 3 times. Always thinking I deserved the beatings and abuse. After my second marriage, and many years of therapy and even Electro-shock therapy, I finally began to like myself again. I went back to school and became a Nurse. Something I always wanted to do. And by now, I had 3 beautiful children that I had to take care of. And I wanted to make sure they had everything they needed. Then one day, I took my children to visit my Mom (by this time, my Father and I were distant), and while there, my Father came up behind me while I was standing at the sink and grabbed me from behind and grabbed my breast. I whirled around and slapped him and said "If you can't treat me like a daughter, then keep your damn hands off of me". My Mom came in from the dining room and asked "What the hell just happened"? I simply looked at her and said, "Ask your damn Husband". I took my children and left. Not long after that, my older sister finally came out of the closet and revealed that my Granddaddy (My Dad's Father) had done the same thing to her that my Father had done to me! I couldn't believe it! I had gone through so much of my life living with this horrific shadow of disgrace behind me and Now she comes out and tell's about her assault? Oh I was so angry. After all of those years of allowing myself to be abused and assaulted by all of those men! Feeling dirty and unworthy of anything else. My Mother was still in denial. She simply could not or would not believe this. Of course, she believed my sister and cursed my Grandfather to my own Father. Yet, she would never believe anything I tried to tell her about what her husband had done to me. Then it became a subject that NO ONE spoke about. For years I saw two sides of a man. One was a kind, loving human being, the other side, a man who was sick and assaulted women. Yes, WOMEN. You see, I wasn't the only one. As years passed and I began sharing my expiriences with my friends, I learned that they too had been his victims. Now, I have a whole new set of nightmare's. The very thought that my friends had NEVER TOLD ME! Sexual Assault has a very profound impact on ones life. An impact so humiliating and so debilitating to ones own self for as long as one keeps the expirience SILENT! I am writing this to tell ANYONE WHO HAS BEEN SEXUALLY ASSAULTED, SPEAK OUT. DON'T WAIT! It is NOT OK for ANY MAN to TOUCH YOU OR EVEN SPEAK TO YOU IN A SEXUAL MANNER. I loved my Father. Even after all he had done to me, I Loved My Dad. When he became elderly and ill, I took care of him. And yes, there were still times he tried to touch me inappropriately. However, I knew at that time, he was a very sick man mentally. As was his Father. A few weeks before his passing, he was in the hospital and grabbed my hand and began to cry. He said, "Can you ever forgive me for everything I've done to you"? My FATHER was asking for my forgiveness. I held his hand and told him,"I already have". After all of those years, through all of the pain, through all of the wrong choices I made, I had indeed forgiven him. I knew that the only way that I could live my life with my head held high without the guilt, I had to realize that he was a very sick man. I wanted my Father to know that he was forgiven. I wanted my Father's last days on this earth, to know that I knew he was a Mentally Sick man and that he could leave this world with forgiveness and Love from his Daughter. As the years went on and Mom who was also elderly and sick, I took care of her too. It wasn't until then that she began to talk about it. She cried. She told me how very sorry she was that I had to go through that. She shared with me stories of my Dad's infidelity. She told me that she had wanted to leave him many times, but she Loved him. And, being raised in her church that you NEVER DIVORCE, she stayed. She to was a victim. However, she was a willing victim because of the great love she had for him. Believe me when I tell you that Sexual Assault has many victim's. I Loved Both of my Parent's. Some may call that Sick. However, this is the aftermath of Sexual Assault and the lives that it affects. You may have a loved one who has been a victim. Which in it's own way, makes you a part of all of it. You may not have been the one who was Assaulted, but it still hurts to know that someone you care for has been a victim. Love them anyway. Be kind to them. Let them talk. Be a Good Listener. It is often difficult. However, everyone heals over time. I've told my story in hopes that ANYONE WHO IS SEXUALLY ASSAULTED, SPEAK OUT AND FORGIVE. Forgiveness is NOT FOR THE ABUSER, BUT FOR YOUR OWN SELF PRESERVATION. Many of you have been Assaulted under totally different circumstances. TAKE LEGAL ACTION. NO MEANS NO! Sneaking around and making their VICTIMS FEEL THE SHAME IS NOT EXCEPTABLE. PLEASE, SPEAK OUT!!!!!!! Love Yourself. You are HUMAN.
Wednesday, October 12, 2016
If you are recovering from abuse...I have written this creed for you. Memorize it and live it!
I am not a victim of abuse, I am a survivor. You will not control my life, my life is mine. You have hurt me, but have not broken me. My destiny is in my hands, though you tried to take it with yours. I will not be defeated, for defeat is not an option. I deserve to be happy, and I will be. I deserve to be loved and I am. I have hope, though you tried to shatter it. I have faith, my faith is unshakable. My revenge, is the life I live. In victory, I take away your power! I have arrived, from my life, you depart!
SURVIVING SEXUAL ASSAULT AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
Folks, I have heard from so many Survivor's of Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence recently. I felt compelled to write about it.
So many individuals who have been sexually assaulted by a family member, or someone they new, or even didn't know. And all to many time's, this happen's at a very early age prior to them fully understanding the impact that it will eventually have on their lives. As time goes on, many individuals get cursed with the "Hush, Don't Tell" aspect of this horrific event, they keep all of their thoughts and feelings locked away deep inside of themselves. However, it begins to fester and turns into an enourmous wound in their everyday lives. It haunts them and angers them. However, after many years of the not telling nor speaking about their abuser or type of abuse, they carry this burden and feel that they are the ones who are the blame or at the very least have an extremely low self esteem. Many will go through their lives entering into yet another world of nightmares allowing themselves to be target's for Domestic Violence. Thinking for some unknown reason that they don't deserve any better. Feelings of disparity, ashamed, less than human.
We have come a very long way in reporting abuse. However, there are still so many who have carried these secrets around for half of their lives. Either no one listened, or cared. Or they simply didn't want to or think they should talk about it. So, how do we change this?
By becoming empowered with Knowledge. You see, knowledge is power. Something that we learn as we get older. But how does that help the children who have yet to reach the age of understanding?
As parent's, be vigilant. Listen intently to your children. Be observant of changes in their behavior. Changes in the socialization with other's. And always remember that it isn't just girl's who are abused, but also boy's.
As a society, we must first believe that this happen's even if it has never happened to your loved ones or to you. If you have never been touch by this monster, then it is difficult to understand it from a victim's perspective. However, always be willing to listen. Although difficult at times and sometimes unbelievable, one must open their minds to the REAL WORLD and the ugliness that is prevalent here. No one chooses to be a victim. They are chosen. Without a voice in the matter. Without a protector to pull them to safety. Because this type of abuse is very elusive. Even in the best of families. It does not discriminate due to power or money, or status. This can happen to ANYONE! You might be surprised to know that you probably know someone who has been a victim of abuse. Because you see, they don't always tell. And it is often invisible. But still devastating in the quite of the night in their lives. Filled with nightmare's. Filled with disgust. Filled with shame.
This is a Journey I would wish on NOBODY! However, if you have been affected by this Monster known as Sexual Abuse/Incest or whatever name or label you place on it, PLEASE, release yourself from it's grips and SPEAK OUT! No longer do we have to be silent victims. We can only become survivor's if we recognize that WE are INNOCENT. That innocence was taken from us. We did not give it away! However, we can never go back and reclaim what was taken. But, we can go forward with the knowledge and power to take control back in our lives. Learning forgiveness is extremely hard. But, very necessary in order to let go of the darkness of yester-year. Trying to be strong in the face of adversity is very difficult.
That is why we are called SURVIVOR'S.